Temper Tantrum, Aisle 3

During a class lecture today on the diverse theories for child abuse in our society, my students and I discussed the many stressors that families face today. Our conversation turned to Bronfenbrenner's (1979) Bio-Ecological theory and the idea that multiple systems influence individual, group, and societal behavior. To get to the image quickly, jump to the scene in Shrek where the ogre attempts to explain to Donkey the multi-layered complexities in life. Although beyond Donkey's grasp, the theory that different systems of influence (e.g., parents, schools, media, maturation) affect human growth and development is evident in our interactive world.

In this theory, the role of the Mesosystem is profound: it describes the relationships between people and things within the systems and their effects on children. So within the layers or systems of influence, we have an opportunity to create significant change.

One student shared a great example of this: While shopping she came upon a young child entering a dynamic display of frustration in a very public place. The tantrum was about to start in aisle three. When the child threw herself on the floor in protest, the mother joined her. Shocked, the chid stood up. The mother followed. Away they went to find the next item on the list, I assume.

My charge to my students today: find yourself squarely in the mesosystem of young children's lives. Interact between those layers of self, group, society, in such a way as to encourage subtle but real changes. One way to begin: let a parent know, even a stranger in a store, that you think they're doing a great job, that you can tell how much they care. I had a woman stop me recently in the parking lot of our own grocery store.I was with my young child, and the stranger said to me, I know the days are long, but the years are short. I miss those days with my children. Her comment made me reflect, smile, and hug my little boy a little tighter, and I felt thankful she noticed.